so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
