32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
