Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
