well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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