I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think people are normalizing furries
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
