I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
