so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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