He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
