Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
