my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
