areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
