WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
This baby is an asshole
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
