he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
