I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
