we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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