she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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