I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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