ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
