dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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