Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
