Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
