If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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