Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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