last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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