Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
