I need help removing her.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
