is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
