i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
