we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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