"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
