i don't like sucking hair
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
