I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
