I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
