OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
