I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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