Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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