I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
