Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
