How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
