But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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