We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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