Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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