Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
