Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
