some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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