I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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