I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
