Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
In America we eat man semen.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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