You can't motorboat a personality
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
