Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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