My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
