We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
