in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
